


Forever Never

by Lyaksandra



Category: Dragon Age
Genre: Drama, F/F, Friends to Lovers, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-11-30
Updated: 2011-11-30
Packaged: 2017-10-26 17:16:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/285865
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lyaksandra/pseuds/Lyaksandra
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Far from Kirkwall, with no companions to help, Marian Hawke tracks a heinous criminal. Along the way, she meets someone who challenges all she's ever known, and who changes all that she'll become.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Another gust of wind hit the side of the mountain, and although there was a forest in its surroundings, it barely did anything to hold back the merciless onslaught of the weather. Slumped against the trunk of a tree—between shivers and clattering teeth—Marian Hawke muttered several obscenities directed at the cold.

She was starting to wonder why she had taken this assignment in the first place. After four years in Kirkwall, she didn’t have any need for horrid endeavors like this one anymore and yet, she had accepted. It hadn’t been out of just her noble inclination toward righting the wrongs of the world, because she could’ve brought the others for that. It certainly hadn’t been about the coin—the Hawke family now had enough to throw away. So, if Marian Hawke had to put her finger on one main reason for her undertaking this mission on her own, it was the fact that she wanted to get away from everything.

Although her life had improved in many aspects after the expedition to the Deep Roads, it had also deteriorated in many others. Not only had Bartrand—flesh and blood of her good friend Varric—betrayed them all, but she had returned to find her sister being taken to The Gallows. Years of being careful had vanished just like that, in an instant. Now her sister had to join the other mages in that awful prison the Templars liked to call a Circle of Magi. Even worse, Bethany would surely suffer their scorn for being an apostate for years.

With her sister gone, Marian had very few people around that could support her in her times of need.

Isabella didn’t want to be deeply involved with anyone, and after that playful romp in the new Hawke estate, the pirate had made herself quite scarce. Merrill was supportive and a good listener, but her culture and views of the world were too different for Marian to handle at this time.

There was Varric too. He was always willing to have people open to him, but even though he was an excellent listener, he didn’t have much to contribute when it came to the matter of feelings. That, and the fact that Marian did not wish to add to the dwarf’s troubles, he was after all the person most directly affected by Bartrand’s betrayal.

Speaking of not adding to people’s troubles, Marian had avoided worrying her mother any more than absolutely necessary ever since their arrival at Kirkwall. Mother had enough in her plate with the untimely death of Carver, and not too late afterward with Bethany being spirited away to that Maker forsaken place. This was the natural thing for Marian to do. With her brother and sister gone, she had to be strong for her mother, because losing two of your children in such a short span of time had to be more than devastating.

Was there even a point in considering Fenris and Anders? One was so consumed with his quest for vengeance that he barely noticed what happened around him, unless it was an incoming attack—one really had to commend his combat awareness, it was as if the elf had a sixth sense. Then came the latter of the two, who was absolutely absorbed in something entirely different—his own suffering. Anders was the master of self-pity, definitely not the kind of person you could bring your troubles to, unless they were of a purely physical nature—the man truly was an outstanding healer.

At the end of the list came Aveline, who obviously had enough to deal with and then some, since she had come to Marian for help. Although it wasn’t the best option, or even one she would consider under different circumstances, Marian had decided to undertake the search for the criminal all on her own. Wanting to protect the others and not add to their current troubles was the perfect excuse for her to put a little distance from all the troubles in Kirkwall. If she had no one to support her, she might as well take some time away to think and find some inner peace. Ultimately, the mission had provided her with an opportunity, and so that was the main reason why she took it.

For several months, one criminal had been the scourge of Kirkwall. All over the city was the chaos left in his wake. From robberies to murders, from the filthy rich inhabitants of Hightown to the starving beggars in Lowtown. None had been spared. The city guardsmen knew it was just the one person behind all the crimes, because every witness although failing to provide an accurate description of the perpetrator’s appearance, had agreed on one thing. The criminal seemed to enjoy having a chat with its victims—after he had sent them to the afterlife—and the accent in his voice was unlike anything else they had heard before.

When Marian had read the testimonies, the first thought that crossed her mind was that these people were all cowards of the worst kind. If they were able to identify this person’s voice, yet could provide no description of his appearance, it meant that at the time they had been hiding in fear, but still had been morbid enough to remain in the vicinity. Maybe Kirkwall was beyond any redemption after all.

Once her angry thoughts had somewhat dissipated, she had noticed something else. This meant that the person in question obviously wasn’t from Kirkwall or the Free Marches. Not even a Fereldan, since the number of refugees that had run from the blight to make the city of chains their new home was large enough to cause their accent to be known all over the place. Such a detail would surely prove pivotal in tracking and preparing to fight against this person.

At some point, the crimes had simply ceased, and not too long afterward, the city guardsmen received information about a suspicious stranger leaving the city and traveling northeast. In order to follow such a weak lead, which could very well turn into a wild goose chase, Marian had come alone to the middle of nowhere. After days of traveling away from Sundermount, she had crossed a bog and stumbled upon an elven camp near a mountainside forest, much like the one that used to be Merrill’s home. The difference was that being so far into the wilderness, these elves had had even less contact with humans, and proved to be rather hostile.

During her initial visit, Marian had learned that another interloper had been through the camp, and had been seen coming and going up the mountain. She assumed that if this person were indeed the criminal she was pursuing, he was keeping a low profile until things calmed down back in Kirkwall. The most likely theory that went through her head was that the criminal was hiding in a cave up in the mountains, and was periodically coming down to the camp in order to resupply his food reserves. How he had managed to establish a commercial relationship of sorts with these rather distrustful elves—when she had been almost immediately run out of the place—was beyond her comprehension, and it was in fact unimportant. She was here to bring this man to justice, not to learn about diplomacy.

Still, one thing bothered her greatly. How was it that even the Keeper of the clan had been unwilling to be more accepting of her? As far as her experience went, Marian had assumed that keepers were by measure of their wisdom, more open-minded. Of course, her experience was basically limited to just Marethari. Then again, the hostility she was met with probably wasn’t something inherent to this clan of elves, and the most likely answer would have to be that they had no shortage of trouble with humans.

Out in no man’s land, the vagabond disguise Marian had donned in order to track the criminal in a covert fashion, had fortunately proved reasonably successful. Her hosts had at least accepted her continued presence right outside their camp, although still nearly every elf that walked by gave her an angry stare. Even the healer, who came to check on her from time to time, apparently did so out of an absolute sense of duty and not real concern toward the human invader.

Several days went by as she waited for her target to appear in the elven camp, and Marian noticed that her food reserves were dangerously coming close to their end. It wouldn’t be long before she had to attempt trading with the elves—in fact, she would be lucky if the situation could be postponed for another day or two. Being polite through diplomatic conversations with people that were likely to treat her as the worst kind of vermin wasn’t something she was looking forward to. It actually was something she had never been able to do before, and the mere thought made her stomach turn a little.

At the time that she was trying to come to terms with this idea, Marian Hawke would receive what in her current situation was the most unexpected and pleasant surprise.

While she hugged her legs close to her body in order to fend off the cold of this particularly chilly day, Marian noticed out of the corner of her eye that one of the elves was walking toward her. Already anticipating being met with another scowling face, Marian inhaled deeply in preparation for a drawn out sigh. However, what happened next derailed her thoughts and the sigh was caught in her throat.

“Aneth ara, stranger.”

The elven woman spoke in a calm, yet at the same time mirthful voice. It was an exotic mixture of Merrill’s and Keeper Marethari’s voice. There was no hint of venom laced in the words, and the fact that such a greeting was used almost exclusively amongst elves, made Hawke quickly turn her face to look at this elf with great curiosity. When their gazes met, Marian saw no scorn or recrimination in the other woman’s eyes. There was only an extraordinary calmness and otherworldly beauty to them.

If the elf woman noticed Hawke staring at her, she made no mention or gesture about it, and while taking a seat right beside Marian, she simply smiled before speaking again.

“My name is Luine, what is yours?”

Once the elf’s face was level with Hawke’s, she couldn’t help but notice that this woman couldn’t be much older than she was, yet seemed to be far wiser than anyone she had met.

“Marian, Marian Hawke.”

The words had left her mouth all on their own. Even if it was for only a moment, Marian was completely lost in the eyes of this Luine. How big a coincidence, and how fascinating that an inhabitant of the forest had eyes of a deep green color pierced by streaks of gold. It was very much like looking skyward in the midst of the forest and seeing the sun coming down through the leaves.

“It is very seldom that we have visitors around here, Marian Hawke, and I love learning about different people and different lands. Since you look like a traveler, I could wager on the fact that you have extraordinary stories to tell. Would you share them with me?”

Marian found it hard not to comply with this elf’s request. She had a disarming smile, was interested in learning about different cultures, and last but not least, she wasn’t as angry and taciturn as the rest of her clan appeared to be. Quite a welcome change in this bleak landscape.

That was how they started talking, and in days to come would do so until the sun hid in the horizon. Since Luine had seemed so honestly interested in every bit of story Marian told, she found it easy to ramble about her life with the young elf woman. She told the elf about the last year of her stay in Ferelden, and how the blight had chased the remainder of the Hawke family away from their hard-earned reprieve. Conveying the amount of hardship her family had gone through, meant that Marian had to tell the story of her mage father and sister. Which of course encompassed the challenge such a situation presented when arriving to Kirkwall—a city where mages were seen as barely less than the scourge of Thedas and any lands that might exist beyond.

As she told her tale, Marian found no judgment or contempt in the elf’s eyes. There was only interest and perhaps a little fascination, and of course as Marian would learn later that night, the fact that Luine was herself a mage.

With the sun now gone behind the silhouettes of faraway mountains, and whatever little warmth it could provide gone with it, the cold reaffirmed its presence with quite some fervor. Marian’s teeth started clattering once more, which seemingly provided quite the funny interruption to their chat. At this, Luine simply placed a comforting hand on Marian’s shoulder and grinned in such a way that seemed as if she was just about to start laughing.

At the suddenness—and quite frankly in her current situation, strangeness of the contact—Marian jumped a little and turned to look slightly wide-eyed at Luine. This obviously broke whatever resistance the elf had left, and she started openly laughing at her human companion as she stood up. Equal parts indignant, angry and embarrassed, Marian let out a huff while an obvious pout came to her lips. This for some reason made Luine’s laughter soften and almost immediately turn back into just a smile. The same candid and disarming smile Luine seemed to display almost naturally. Hawke found difficult to remain angry at the elf—who, while looking straight into her eyes spoke in a soothing tone.

“I am going to bring something you will surely enjoy, Marian Hawke.”

There was something in the way Luine had spoken her full name—twice now—with such formality, as if she were some kind of important emissary. It became Marian’s turn to feel a little amused by her companion.

When she let out a snort quite unbecoming of a lady taking residence in the Hightown area of Kirkwall, Luine started laughing again. As they both shared the mirth of the moment, Marian could feel a certain warmth washing all over her weary body. It seemed as if it had been years since the last time she laughed at simple things like these.

Lost in the moment, Hawke reached out and casually took Luine’s hand in her own. “You know, just Marian will do. There is no need to be so formal.”

“Very well, just Marian it is then.”

After letting go of the elf’s hand, Marian immediately regretted what she had done. There had been a slight change in Luine’s demeanor after she grabbed her hand, Marian was certain that she had picked something in the elf’s response. However, as Luine turned around and started walking toward the camp, she never stopped smiling. Perhaps no harm had been done; maybe she hadn’t crossed some form of border.

A moment later, she saw Luine disappear into one of the tents, which Marian assumed would be the one belonging to her. While waiting for the elf’s return, Hawke started wondering about the twists one could stumble upon while walking on the road of life. It was here of all places where she found the reprieve she needed, and with a stranger nonetheless. Here, in the middle of nowhere, with the kind of weather that would make her grateful to have even Uncle Gamlen’s hovel to protect her, and amongst people who could compete in a contest of unfriendly faces with the Qunari. If there was a fate, it certainly had a special sense of humor.

Hawke was still a bit lost in thought when Luine returned, her gaze transfixed in the darkness of the woods ahead instead of looking at the approaching elf. Suddenly, Marian’s cheek was nudged by something furry, which greatly startled her. Yet again, she acted well out of her norm by letting out a girlish squeal and trying desperately to swat away the offending object with both hands, much like a child attempts to get rid of a bug that has landed on its clothes.

“Oh Marian, you are so anxious! You need to relax!”

The mirth in Luine’s voice was obvious, so Marian’s expression turned into a scowl and her lips puckered in anger. This time though, it was more in mock anger, a playful gesture she found easy to let out around this unexpected friend.

Soon after that, they were both happily giggling again. As they did, Marian noticed Luine sitting snug close to her, and what surprised her most was the fact that it wasn’t as uncomfortable as she had assumed. Resting on the elf’s lap, she noticed the object that surely was used to nudge her face, and it was in fact a large cover made of animal furs. Then, as if it was the most common thing to do, the elf nimbly unfolded the cover and in one swift movement sheltered them both with it.

Marian felt quite perplexed, but that didn’t last very long. All too abruptly, Luine’s face was so very close to her own, and she could feel the elf’s breath on her cheek as the words left her lips.

“So Hawke, will you tell me more about you?”

It was said in a low voice, lower than what Marian had previously heard from Luine. Gone was the strange mixture of chirpy mirth and calmness, and it had now become so much like the sultry tone Isabela used to seduce people. Of course, Isabela’s tone had a tinge of jollity to it because that’s what seduction meant to her—a game. Luine’s voice on the other hand had come out too serious altogether. When she felt her face getting just a bit flush, Marian became a little flustered, and tried to cover it by speaking while hoping none of her emotions were showing.

Hawke carried on with the story of her life until the wee hours of the night when sleep finally claimed Luine. By then, Marian was also quite tired so it wasn’t long until she also drifted off into a comfortable sleep.

The next morning, they both woke up snug close and leaning against each other, but neither said or did anything about to raise the point to attention. Luine probably didn’t care, and Marian decided it wasn’t worth making a fuss over—especially since she had slept so well, even though they were outdoors and on rough bedding.

That day just kept improving from there. Later that morning, Luine disappeared into her camp and emerged moments later carrying some freshly cooked breakfast for the both of them, which Marian practically devoured. Although there still was some food in her sack, nothing could compare to a warm meal just out of the fire.

While Marian ate as if she had been food-deprived for days, Luine took her portion in quite calmly, and the smile that played on her lips made it obvious that the elf was again quite amused by her human companion. Marian noticed it wasn’t a judgmental or criticizing smile. Luine was truly just entertained by Marian’s demeanor, which probably was peculiar to at least every other elf in this particular camp. However, there was a radical difference between her elf and the rest of them over there in the camp. Even though Luine had surely gone through the same predicaments as the other members of her clan—she was curious, interested in learning, and open to different things.

At some point during their meal, Marian found herself reciprocating Luine’s content smile. Perhaps this mission wouldn’t be as grim as she had assumed at first.

After finishing their meal, Luine offered to show Marian around the camp and the routes up to the mountain. Besides the obvious tactical value of knowing the layout of her surroundings, Hawke had already decided to allow herself some relaxation. Moreover, even if her target were to notice her presence, he would assume that given her closeness with this elf, Marian was a recurring visitor or a friend to the clan. The killer would never imagine that the person sent after him all the way from Kirkwall would be close friends with one of the locals. The prospect of spending her time in relative relaxation along with her new friend had Marian anticipating the days to come.

Marian Hawke would not be disappointed. The following days were indeed quite similar to the ones following her meeting with Luine. They would share meals, have walks through the forest surrounding the camp, talk until very late every night and then sleep together under the twinkling light of the stars. During this time, Marian noticed there were occasions when Luine would remain in the camp for several hours. When she finally decided to ask, the elf revealed that she was to become the next Keeper of her clan. Now that would be quite an abrupt change. Hawke was mildly amused by the sharp change in direction Luine would bring into the way of life of these elves.

Around the sixteenth day after her arrival, Marian started wondering why her prey had never descended the mountains to resupply at the elven camp. Although she had been enjoying her time in this place, she was starting to get restless and worried. After all, this wasn’t merely a vacation trip, and the killer she had tracked all the way here had been supposed to make his appearance days ago. Had he perhaps taken note of her presence and fled? Little did Marian know that the criminal no longer posed any threat, that there were things about to occur, which would once again make her life take a turn for the better, and for the worse.


	2. Chapter 2

Not unlike other days before, Marian and Luine were together having dinner in the outskirts of the camp. Their talks were now comfortable to the point that they even made fun of the other elves in the camp from time to time. When having meals they now sat close to each other and physical contact was commonplace—a playful nudge, a gentle elbow to the ribs, nothing out of the ordinary—nothing strange by the standards of the passerby’s so far. Everything was quite the same, until Marian reached out to place a hand on Luine’s thigh to guide her attention toward a certain cloud in the sky.

There was nothing exceptional about the contact. They were so familiar with each other by now, that to Marian it was as habitual as touching any of her other friends back in Kirkwall. Everything had been the same, until she felt Luine’s hand on top of her own. Suddenly, what was supposed to be an innocuous action made her very aware of just how warm the elf’s hands were, and how soft the flesh of her thigh felt under the smooth fabric of her clothes.

Out of the slight discomfort of the moment, Hawke tried to move away, but her effort was completely foiled when Luine ran a thumb along the top of her hand. The slight edginess Marian had felt since Luine initiated the contact had made her skin over-sensitive. The simple touch sent a spark through her body, and her breathing suddenly became broken because of the tingling shiver that jolted her mind just as much as it did the rest of her.

Hawke turned to face the elf and immediately noticed the soft smile that adorned her features. It was a different sort of smile that barely touched Luine’s eyes, and Marian could tell because that gaze of green and gold was fixed upon her with an intensity she had only felt from one other person. No one had ever looked at her like that but Mother. Of course she was aware that Father had loved her more than anything or anyone else, with the only exception being the others in their family. Mother though, she looked at her children as if there was nothing else in the world.

Marian was becoming lost in that piercing gaze, falling into the seemingly fiery want that emanated from the elf’s mesmerizing eyes. There was something wistful about Luine’s whole demeanor in that moment, and Marian couldn’t help or explain the strong attraction she was feeling. It was as if something was inexorably pulling her toward the elf.

They stared into each other’s eyes until it seemed time stretched into forever and there was nothing else but them on the snow covered road. Not even the cold wind was able to break Hawke’s reverie, but then, a lock of hair fell upon Luine’s face. Marian moved almost by reflex, and delicately—as if touching one of the snowflakes falling upon them—used her fingers to tuck the strands of hair behind Luine’s ear.

Being surprised was already beyond Hawke, but when the elf captured her hand by tangling dainty fingers with hers, something inside herself gave in. There was no denying it anymore, Marian closed her eyes and tentatively started doing away with the distance between their faces. She was certain that Luine wanted the same, and in fact, she was about to learn just how much.

Suddenly, her lips were met by Luine’s with such hunger that Marian felt like she would melt away. Almost immediately, their kiss became a dance of desire-fueled fires attempting to consume each other. Marian felt two hands cup her face and pull her further into the kiss. An inquisitive tongue probed her lips, and with a mew, she allowed it inside her mouth. The reward was Luine’s tongue, which was almost velvety soft and so warm; it was incredible how relentlessly it could assault. Doing her best to reciprocate, Marian started probing around with her own tongue. It was almost like wrestling for dominance and control of the kiss.

Marian felt her yearning for the elf’s warmth grow, and she reached out to explore with her hands. First, she captured Luine’s face in her hands and found it exquisitely soft and smooth; it made her inhale sharply and let out a slight groan, which in turn elicited a pleasured mew from Luine. That was enough consent in Marian’s opinion, she became emboldened and her hands began moving down the elf’s long neck. It seemed to go on forever, so slender and strong, her hands were able to feel every nuance of the muscles beneath the silky skin. When she reached Luine’s shoulders, she gently squeezed them and reveled in the feeling of strength that readily yielded and sprung back under her touch.

As Luine’s mews and moans became more frequent, almost perfectly mingling with her own as a melodious song, Marian grew even bolder. Now she had a better understanding of just how much Luine wanted this—at least as much as her, and possibly even more. She took hold of the sides of the elf’s waist with both hands and squeezed hard. Luine felt so slender and delicate in her hands, probably because she had always been a warrior and Luine was a mage. It was obvious that she would be on the burlier side of the scales, given the exercise and training she underwent on a daily basis. Luine on the other hand felt almost ethereal, and yet it was apparent that living in the forest had forced the elf mage to do more exercise than her city counterparts did. Marian could feel the lean musculature underneath the soft skin, and it only added to the wonderful sensations permeating her fingertips.

Soon enough, her hands greedily slid down to Luine’s hips. The supple sensation was inconceivable given how lanky the elf appeared to be, yet she was exquisitely soft in all the right places. She tugged with determination at Luine, whom readily acknowledged her desire and allowed Marian to pull her to her knees. For a moment there, Hawke thought she was ahead. Alas, that illusion was swiftly taken away when Luine suddenly pulled her hips toward her own. It became evident to Marian that the elf was bolder than she was, because instead of pulling from the sides, Luine’s hands were firmly clasped to her buttocks as she lifted her.

When their hips met, Hawke was able to feel the warmth of Luine’s core along with the soft mound in front of her hips. It was too much. The heat coming from Luine—almost searing—the tempestuous clash of their mouths, the unabashed exploration of each other’s body. Too much, too sudden after so long.

Marian’s breath was gone and she pushed Luine away perhaps harder than she intended. Regret overcame her mind when she saw the elf’s expression turn so crestfallen, so dejected. As fast as she could, Marian reached for Luine’s face with one hand and ran her finger along the cheek in hopes of comforting her.

“I’m so sorry, it’s just that…” Nervousness made the words stall in her throat. “It’s just that it’s been so long, and there was someone else before, but not like this…”

For the longest instant, the elf woman stared blankly at her, or maybe at some place beyond, she couldn’t be sure. Was it perhaps too late for explanations? Marian certainly hoped it was not, and she would have little time to despair, because Luine cut her contemplation by suddenly placing her hands upfront, palms toward the sky.

“Look at that! It’s snowing so much!”

It was such a strange reaction, that Marian felt very puzzled for a moment. Gone was the sad expression and Luine seemed to have turned back to normal, just like that, in an instant. The elf then brought her beautiful green eyes back to Hawke, trapping her again with that intense gaze. Marian knew she had been forgiven.

“So…” Luine started but her voice trailed off, and Marian saw her eyes wander down to stare at the snowy ground. It was so strange seeing her elf display hesitation.

“So?” Marian pressed, although she had a pretty good idea of what the elf was going to ask.

The elf’s eyes danced between Hawke and the ground a couple of times more, and finally settled on her face. “So, since it’s snowing, would you like to come with me and take refuge in my tent?”

There, she had said it and even through that candid smile of hers. It turned out exactly as Marian expected, and so she replied without hesitation.

“Yes. I would love that.”

They smiled at each other, and in a single movement, Luine was standing up and tugging at both of Hawke’s hands to help her stand. The elf then collected the cover and put it around them both along with an arm around Hawke’s shoulders. Marian felt so warm and fuzzy, perhaps even safe as they started walking toward the camp. She wasn’t sure when was the last time she had felt so taken care of.

Once they arrived, they were immediately met with the harsh stares of the other elves. Marian couldn’t remember any place where she had been so unwelcome, and Maker was she was an expert at making herself unwelcome. The heroic, somewhat self-righteous types were almost never looked upon with kind eyes, especially in a city as full of issues as Kirkwall. These elves though, had a way of making you feel as if you were from a different world altogether. Then, Marian felt Luine’s hand apply a gentle pressure on her shoulder. Such a simple act, a tiny squeeze, and she instantly felt reassured enough to stop giving a damn about her elf’s peers. Whatever they would say it couldn’t harm her, and if they dared to act in violence against her or Luine, she would have them taste the cold, hard and unforgiving edge of her silverite greatsword. The elves had probably never suspected that the thick roll of textiles she carried around everywhere she went was in fact not a tent or even a bundle of covers.

As they approached the tent that she recalled belonging to Luine, Marian allowed a tiny smile to play on her lips. She wasn’t one to be smug or arrogant, but the attitude these elves had displayed toward her all along had already worn out her patience. In fact, they should’ve been grateful that she was not prone to outbursts like some of the others. One example that came clearly into Marian’s mind was Isabela. For the pirate it was more a game than actual lashing out, but she did find inordinate amounts of jollity in rubbing her strength in the face of those who made the mistake of underestimating her. It was in fact quite possible, that if these elves had been so hostile to Isabela, the rogue would have skulked into their camp, gotten the clan’s best soldiers to eat dirt and then pilfered their goods just for the sake of it.

Hawke stopped when she felt Luine move away from her. They had arrived at the tent and the elf promptly leaned forward to open it. With how aware she now was of the elf’s presence, Marian couldn’t help but notice that bending in such a way made Luine’s rear end stick out wonderfully. Her elf wasn’t as full and well-rounded as Isabela was—Marian had to admit—but she was obviously becoming biased because of her feelings and she knew it. In her eyes, it was the most gorgeous and inviting sight she had seen in forever. Was she perhaps wrong in allowing her feelings to take free rein of her? No, how could any of this possibly be wrong? Luine felt just like her, and would probably agree to visit Kirkwall as often as her training as Keeper allowed in order to maintain a relationship. Would she not? Momentarily pushing her doubts aside, Marian reached out and seized the opportunity that was in front of her. She playfully squeezed the elf’s buttocks and gave her a gentle nudge forward.

“Come on, hurry!” She urged while chuckling.

Luine turned toward her and giggled. “Marian! Behave!”

Once inside the tent they merely lied there, staring at each other for a while. The amber light of a small lamp that hung from the roof of the tent bathed them both in a cozy glow. Still, in spite of the illumination giving the inside of the tent a sense of warmth and security, Marian hesitated about what to do next. She knew what she wanted, and was quite sure of what Luine wanted, but the future beyond this point was what actually worried her. The feeling of this turning out to be a failed venture—just like Isabela—was gnawing at her mind, and at her stomach.

Her eyes had probably reflected that fear, because Luine moved close and squeezed a leg between her thighs. It had been so long, that such a simple touch was enough to send Marian over the edge. Abusing her larger mass and musculature, she pushed the elf aside from the shoulder and towered above her face. Hawke took an instant to admire the eyes that stared at her with a longing and desire she had been deprived of for far too long, and then she descended and drank from the sweet ambrosia that was Luine’s lips. They were so soft, so pliant, and so readily willing.

They both wasted no more time, and as their tongues danced with ardent intent inside their mouths, their hands started pilfering pieces of clothing from each other as fast as they could. Marian started feeling her hands were too slow and clumsy for the task at hand, or at least for how fast she wanted them to get that task done with. Eagerness was taking her reason away, and she was unable to do anything about it—besides, it wasn’t as if she truly wanted to.

With fewer clothes, the amount of skin being touched directly was increasing with almost every breath. Marian started to feel as if a trail of fire was left in the wake of her elf’s hands—a delicious sensation that made her body quiver, and her back arch at the waist in response. Each place Luine explored with her delicate fingers was left tingling and wanting. The touch was nearly reverent in nature and it made Hawke feel exultant. She was starting to lose perception of anything else but Luine. Time was of no consequence anymore and Hawke couldn’t quite tell where was up or down. The one thing that mattered in the world right now was right under her body. So beautiful, so sensual, so beloved Luine.

Marian was led by her hunger toward the elf’s long, exquisite neck and she traced a path along it with her lips and the tip of her tongue. She kissed and tasted, lightly suckling at the smooth skin while reveling in the sensation. Soon enough she found the end of Luine’s neck and a tantalizing aroma flowed into her nostrils.

Taking a deep breath, Marian allowed the smell to guide her. It was almost mind numbing and deliciously enthralling. Letting a moan escape her lips, Hawke submerged her face in Luine’s cleavage, kissing relentlessly the valley between the elf’s breasts with unbridled craving. Both her hands latched at the supple mounds adorning the elf’s chest and explored the texture and fullness with curious fingertips. They weren’t big, but they were so perky and receptive. When Marian teased one hardened peak with her mouth, she immediately felt nails digging in her back, and heard Luine letting out a pleasured gasp that was nothing short of an invitation to do more.

Not letting the chance go to waste, Marian slid down Luine’s body, leaving a path of kisses along her stomach. She stopped at the navel and planted small kisses all round it before gently teasing it with her tongue. Then, she continued her trip down, and was soon met with the musky and intoxicating scent of the spot between Luine’s legs. Marian pressed her lips against it, as if softly planting a kiss on the moist skin, and then she suckled and allowed her tongue to explore.

When Luine’s hips started rhythmically rocking as if in tune with her ministrations, Marian took a firm hold of them and pressed her mouth hard against the most sensitive spot. She was able to feel her elf quiver under her grasp, muscles tensing and relaxing in sudden harmonic spasms. The tent was full of Luine’s voice, and Hawke knew it was because of her. It was music of the most exquisite composition to her ears, and she felt a measure of pride in knowing it was only for her. With these feelings in her heart, Marian felt her elf reaching the summit and then the unavoidable fall into that abyss of blissful reprieve.

They lied side by side, snug close to each other for a while, trying to catch their breath, and Marian could feel that special and foolish smile creeping into her face. She was truly content for the first time in months. Her body felt revitalized, her stress was gone, and she felt so secure it almost was worrying. Almost. Surely, this was what being happy was like.

“Marian.” A husky voice called beside her.

“Yes?”

“It’s my turn now, are you ready?”

There was no mistaking the mischievous tone in Luine’s voice, and Marian couldn’t help chuckling at the candor of her companion.

“Yes.” Hawke replied while giggling and turning to face her lover.

They made love again, and again, and many times more that night, until their bodies felt like they could be easily carried away by the stiff winter wind. Marian’s heart was soaring, and even though she was exhausted, sleep eluded her nonetheless.

That was when it happened, as she mused about the night’s occurrences, about how happy she was going to be from now on.

All of a sudden, the nearly overwhelming silence of the night was pierced by the horrifying scream of someone in terrible pain. Even though Marian was already awake, Luine was swifter at getting dressed and reaching the outside of the tent. She could see the elf’s legs through the opening as she stood outside.

“What’s happening?” Hawke asked as she hastily stumbled through the process of getting her clothes back on.

Her response was Luine’s hand suddenly appearing in front of her face, urging her to remain where she was. However, Marian wasn’t the kind of person who did nothing in a crisis, so she persistently tried to move forward. When she tried to brush the hand away though, she was confronted with a very stern looking Luine.

“Marian, listen to me, there is nothing you can do to help. You need to leave, please!”

Panic filled her heart, not because of whatever was happening, but because the thing she had dreaded most these days was happening.

“I don’t understand. What’s happening? Let me help!” Marian practically implored and tried to reach the hand Luine had inside the tent.

She was about to when a thundering growl resounded right beside them, and the next thing Hawke was aware of, was that she had been torn from the ground and flung into the skies along with the tent and everything in it. Marian was trying in vain to find her bearings when she suddenly crashed headlong against the ground. Fortunately, there had been no rocks where she landed, but still she was nearly knocked unconscious from the blow.

Holding her head and feeling as if she had been immersed in water, Marian attempted to make out the scene occurring ahead of her, more precisely where she and Luine’s tent used to be. There was some creature attacking the camp, and the elves were fighting it. No, they were not fighting. They were barely holding their ground against it, and it seemed as if they were trying to lure this creature back to the mountain. Where was Luine? Her heart skipped a beat when she was unable to see the object of her affection. Worry and anger took over her mind in a sudden flood. Had Luine become prey to the monstrosity attacking the camp?

Hawke turned to the tent’s wreck and fumbled around trying to find her sword. She was going to kill the monster that had so viciously extinguished her beloved elf’s life.

“Marian!”

She heard someone calling her name, but she couldn’t make out the voice. The headache, the haze, the heartbreak and the rage, they were all clouding her senses immeasurably.

“Marian!”

This time the voice came accompanied by delicate hands covering her own and holding them in place.

“Marian, are you alright?”

When she looked up and found Luine’s face, Marian felt a huge weight being lifted from her shoulders, and all the negative emotions with it. She held onto the elf’s hands as if they were a lifeline and urged her to reconsider.

“Let me help you, I’m sure I could slay it with your help.”

Luine stared at her with those beautiful eyes and gave her a soft smile, then she freed one of her hands and Marian felt its almost feathery caress on the side of her face.

“I’m sure that’s true, but it simply cannot be that way, Marian.”

The elf’s tone carried finality with it, but Hawke found herself unable to accept such an outcome.

“Why?”

“Because the Varterral is here for you.”

The name wasn’t unheard of to Marian, and she understood quite well why Luine’s tone had turned dark and laden with implications and consequences. These creatures were a terrible sight to behold and more so to battle. They were formidable foes indeed, but she had vanquished one before. No matter how trying it had been, Hawke knew that in the end she had prevailed and could do so again. For Luine, and even for the other elves.

“I know these creatures, I slayed one not long ago.” She clung to Luine’s arm.

All of a sudden, the elf dropped to her knees and took Marian into a very strong embrace. She felt her elf’s soft lips on her cheek, kissing her delicately and lovingly, almost dotingly. Luine kissed her cheek and neck over and over again, and then she felt a slight shiver when warm breath caressed her ear.

“Marian—ma’vhenan… Even if we can defeat it, you would afterward face the wrath of the clan. As of now, no one but the Keeper and I should know the reason for the attack. It was the other human, Marian—the one you were pursuing. He must have stirred the Varterral somehow, and once the creature had disposed of him, it came for you. It sensed your presence, and it senses you are not Elvhen. You are a threat to it, and it will not stop until it’s vanquished, or you dead.”  
If there was anywhere below the ground to go, her gut had surely plunged into that abyss. Marian was languid and her mind was unable to produce any words. This chaos that had befallen the elven camp was all her fault, even if not directly. Then, she suddenly recalled that first scream just minutes ago, the creature had no doubt killed that elf. While Hawke thought of these things, Luine suddenly brought her back to the present with her voice.

“Ma’vhenan, you must go, please. Once the Varterral cannot sense your presence anymore, it will allow us to guide it back to its lair up in the mountain.”

Still feeling dizzy and a bit confused, Marian simply nodded and stood up with the aid of Luine. The elf helped her walk some steps by providing herself as support, and when Hawke was able to take her own steps without stumbling too much, they separated.

Feeling sad and at a loss for words, she simply smiled at Luine. It probably was a crooked and rueful smile, but Marian thought it was better than tears. This was their farewell, such as it was, so she had to make the most of it.

“I will come back and look for you,” she called wistfully.

The response she received was the complete opposite of what she expected. Luine’s face became crestfallen and her eyes turned away from her. There was something else Luine was keeping quiet about.

“What’s wrong?” Marian yelled in near despair.

“You can’t ma’vhenan. You mustn’t look for me. The truth will surface someday, and the clan will demand justice. They will heedlessly blame you and most likely demand that blood be paid with blood. I will look for you ma’vhenan, once the animosity has ebbed, I will look for you.”

Luine’s face held determination in that promise, and Marian felt sure that the elf would honor her word, but she just wasn’t prepared to let go.

“Come with me. Run to Kirkwall with me!”

When Marian said those words, she was almost sure of the reply Luine was going to give. Still, she was feeling full of impotence, desperate to try at least one more thing.

“You know I can’t, ma’vhenan. I cannot—would not abandon my duties to the clan.”

That was the predicted response, Marian knew from the moment she made that proposition. Her elf was a woman of principle, dedicated and honorable; it was part of why she had fallen for her. Still, a part of her heart wondered if she could somehow hate the elf at least a little, because of those same qualities. Unwilling to look at her losses anymore, Marian turned around with a sad face and started walking away.

With her balance still compromised by the blow she received in the head, Marian stumbled around a little while walking away from the camp. Even so, she had managed to move far enough, or at least enough for the falling snow to muffle all sounds. It was so calm, that she could hardly believe there was a battle raging on not far from here. She was so tired, and her head was thumping so vigorously—following the rhythm of her heart—it was almost like riding close to the war drums in battle. Even if she was a warrior, her body needed a brief rest before continuing, so Marian decided to sit on the snow and lean against the trunk of a tree.

Maybe it wasn’t so cold, or perhaps her body was warm enough to counter the chill—Marian couldn’t decide why but she didn’t feel much when lying in the snow. If anything, it felt very relaxing for some reason, thus she closed her eyes and allowed her mind to drift away.

Something warm became wrapped around her, caressed her face, tantalized her lips. Then, as if magic had a hand in it, all that warmth flowed inside her body. Maybe she could just sleep there until morning came, she was so very tired and the snow wasn’t cold at all, it was in fact quite cozy. In that very moment, something in her mind noticed the nonsense of her own thoughts and fought against the argument. Warm snow? Magic? The cold wind was gone, and in fact, she felt cozy? Out here, in the wilderness?

A firm grip took Marian from the shoulders and vigorously shook her in place, her mind fought harder to become aware. She slowly opened her eyes and saw practically nothing; it was all an unrecognizable blur. Then she felt fingers prying her eyelids open, cold hands lightly slapping her cheeks and finally, something pinched her ear in a vicious manner. The pain was so sharp, that by mere reflex her body recoiled back and tried to crawl away.

Marian looked around like a scared animal, trying to understand what was happening, when suddenly someone fell on top of her.

“Ma’vhenan, you must not allow sleep to claim you in this cold, you need to stay awake. I thought you had died.”

It was Luine. She had come to her for some reason, and very likely saved her life in the process.

“What are you doing here?” Marian asked incredulously.

“Our farewell, it was just too sad. After you left, I cried for a while and then decided to come find you. I’m so glad I did. Besides, you forgot your sword, you told me it had been in your family for generations.” The elf held the sword up for Marian to see.

A response formed in her mind, but before she could say anything, it died in her lips as her elf sealed them with her own. Marian could feel the urgency in Luine as the elf’s tongue found its way inside her mouth and took her breath away with a deep kiss that held both their hopes for a future together in that single moment.

“I will look for you Marian, I swear. I will find you someday, wherever you are.” Luine’s mesmerizingly beautiful eyes were full of tears.

Marian could almost feel her elf’s heart breaking, but before she could protest, Luine rose to her feet and started running back in the direction of the camp. She looked toward the woods long after the slender figure of her elf had faded in the darkness. This time they really were parting ways for good. Tightening her lips until they had become a line and feeling a bit defeated, Marian allowed her head to fall back on the ground.

After she succeeded in stopping the tears from coming out, she stood up and wrapped herself in the clothes that had served so far to conceal her sword. Tightly fastening the sword to her back, Marian started slowly but confidently walking back to Kirkwall.

She never heard of Luine after that.


	3. Epilogue

Years later, Marian returned to that elven camp, motivated by a yearning to know what had happened to her elf, Luine. This time though, she wasn’t concealing her identity. Marian Hawke was now The Champion of Kirkwall—a title she felt was undeserved, given that the Qunari weren’t exactly wrong about Kirkwall. At least the title wasn’t as bad in taste as the statue they had placed in the docks for all to see, and the title did include the most wonderful armor she had ever worn.

This time around, she also brought an emissary—because even though she wasn’t concealing who she was, even though she apparently was a very important person now—the elves would still demand their justice be served. They too, wouldn’t exactly be in the wrong either.

Hawke remained in the tree line near the outskirts of the camp, out of sight for almost an hour. When Merrill finally returned, she brought the news of what had happened to Luine after that night.

The elf had renounced her position as First to the Keeper and chosen a different path. She left the camp and went to live up in the mountain, where she became the self-appointed guardian and scholar of the Varterral’s lair, including any secrets the creature may have been protecting. There were rumors, that apparently Luine had done this in order to allow the clan a more open communication with the humans. With a guardian appointed to the cave, the events of that time could be avoided. What had happened that night years ago, had turned the elves of her clan even more prejudiced and isolated, precisely the sort of thing Luine had always fought against.

Continuing the quest to learn what had happened to Luine, Marian and Merrill ascended the mountain and arrived at what appeared to be another camp. It was much smaller though, yet bustling with activity. There were several young elves absorbed in what appeared to be combat practice of some sort. When Marian inquired for information about Luine, she wasn’t met with quite as much hostility as she predicted. This camp was apparently dedicated to protect the cave where the Varterral dwelled and the elven ruins within it, and it had been created under the tutelage of Luine. That explained the fact that they were more open about meeting outsiders, and humans at that.

The elf that was in charge of the camp explained to Marian that Luine had left a few months before. After years of faithfully keeping to the task of guarding and studying the ruins, Luine had decided to pass on her knowledge and abilities to others. Once there had been someone trustful and skilled enough to be left in care of the cave, she left them with a simple message: I am going to see the world.

That same day, as the sun set in the horizon and the sky turned purple and gold, Marian and Merrill journeyed back to Kirkwall.

When looking at the forest bathed in the twilight—green leaves bathed in dark hues—Hawke was reminded of Luine's eyes that night. She couldn’t understand why the elf had never contacted her, why she had never looked for her in Kirkwall, but at least she now felt a measure of peace about it. With the passage of time, she had feared that some terrible fate had befallen her elf, and now she knew that Luine was safe. That was an enormous relief, even if Marian were never to meet Luine again.

Over the years, Marian had gotten more acquainted with Merrill. After meeting Luine and exchanging stories, many of the opinions and philosophies that Merrill put forth started looking less outlandish. It was also around that time that she learned the meaning of what Luine had called her that night years ago.

Ma’vhenan, my heart.

It did not matter what had happened, or if their fates had been taken down through different paths, meant to never meet again. Marian could accept that, because when someone accepts you without question and loves you so fully—willfully plunging their whole self into that love—there is no room for any regret.

Regret would be never to have such a thing in your life.

As gold and purple turned dark blue and black in the sky, Marian felt an arm lock with hers.

“Why are you smiling like that?” Merrill looked at her with eyes full of childlike curiosity and admiration.

Without taking her eyes off the road ahead, Marian leaned her head toward the elf.

“Because, all things considered, I’ve had a pretty good life.”

Such a response would be unacceptable to Merrill, and Marian knew it. She had barely finished replying when the elf was already tugging at her arm, whining about the cryptic response. Before Luine, the thought would have never crossed her mind, but now…

Was Merrill interested in her?

Marian Hawke realized that she wouldn’t mind that at all.


End file.
